actually, I'm a sock model
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
