You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
