we're blogging at a bar
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
