I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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