Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
