He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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