wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
