He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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