We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
