If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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