Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
