So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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