Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
