i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
