hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
