The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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