Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
