just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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