in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
