In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
