Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
The Olympian is in my bed
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
