I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
my being single is dangerous.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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