let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I could fuck to npr.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
