I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
false alarm, still single
Randomize
