so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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