Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
