I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
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