Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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