I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
