We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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