Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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