We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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