Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
