puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
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