A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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