just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
