piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
