My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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