That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
