Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
