Walk of Shame. In a state park.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
