Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
