so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Mom said you looked used
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
