I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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