i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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