so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
