in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Can I color on your dick again?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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