Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
My pussy is not your playground.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
