the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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