So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
