those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
