She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Welp...herpes.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
